‘I Stawted the Frickin’ Poof, Okay?!’
‘Everybody’s working for the weekend, everybody wants a new romance;
everybody’s going off the deep end; everybody needs a second chance, ohhh’
I know, I’ve been slacking lately… okay, not so much ‘slacking’ but more along the lines of ‘neglectful’, and I sincerely apologize. Don’t hurt me.
A lot of stuff has happened since the last time I posted. Tiger Woods, well, that’s self-explanatory; the trading of Brian Bruney to the Nationals; the trading of Ian Kennedy, Phil Coke, and Austin Jackson to make way for Curtis Granderson… just so much to keep up with, ya know? But, I think I’ll take this time to address a far more interesting [more like attention-keeping] yet asinine topic… The Jersey Shore.
I know what you’re thinking. How could I watch something so ridiculous, terrible, atrocious, and a multitude of other extremely harsh adjectives? I’ll tell you how – comic relief. I don’t pity any of those 8 [well, now 7; *spolier alert*] fools (Mr. T would be disappointed) by any means. In fact, I relish in their stupidity. That’s how I am. I hate stupid people and I live to make as much fun of them as possible. I absolutely LOVE it. Funny story, though… I went to elementary school with one of the guys on the show – Vinny, for those who watch… you know, the one who got pink eye? Yeah…
The past two Thursday nights at 10pm, I’ve spent my time watching this show and bashing these clowns to death with my Twitter crew. It’s always a good time. They’re some of the people who aren’t outraged by the mere thought of 8 self-proclaimed ‘guidos/guidettes’ going out and partying and getting laid and “making a fool of the Italian race” on national television. Honestly, I can understand the reasoning behind Italian-Americans getting angry, but c’mon now, it’s not that serious. I’m sure there are people out there like myself who know that not all Italians are like that, and the ones who are… well, clearly they’re a bunch of as$ponies, but as$ponies that make my Thursday nights that much more bearable. ♥
How can you not be amused by Nicole, aka ‘Snookie’, a 4’3″ tanned-to-the-point-of-racial-confusion chick from Poughkeepsie who loves her guidette-ness and a c_ckmeat sandwich every now and then? I mean, c’mon, don’t we all? … or Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, a self-proclaimed Godsend to women with about 3194873198 abs that look like they were sewn on and a face that looks like it got hit by an 18-wheel MAC truck? *drools* OH BABY ♥. Or Jenni, aka ‘J-WOWW’ [yes, all capital letters] who wears cloth necklaces and looks like she and Manny Ramirez should meet up and trade hair secrets? How about Angelina, the self-proclaimed [notice how there's a lot of that going on with these people] ‘Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby’? You know, the one who’s ‘all natural’ and therefore ‘hot’? The one who Mike, ‘The Situation’ told to go lose 5 or 10 pounds? Yeah, that one. I think I hate her the most out of everyone in the house… and now that she’s gone *spoiler alert* I can watch without getting overly angry. Score!
There are four other people in the house, but I think I can tolerate them, at least for now. I’m not gonna trash-talk Vinny ’cause he was a cool kid when I knew him, and he’s probably the most normal person in the house. That’s ma boy!
**Note** If you didn’t catch it, the paragraph before last was dripping with if not flooded with sarcasm. Kay, thanks.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything that was funnier, at least in the realm of non-fiction. Let’s go through some of the things that made me giggle x19849713813:
1. Pauly D putting charcoal in a gas grill, and The Situation lighting it, resulting in part of the grill catching fire.
2. Sammi ‘Sweetheart’ and Ronnie hooking up in the guest room, and Sammi apologizing, ‘like, sorry Mom.’
3. Vinny walking solemnly around the house saying, ‘guys, I got somethin’ to tell you… I got pink eye.’
4. J-WOWW and Pauly hooking up in their room, and J-WOWW saying, ‘I just saw your p
5. and something that was supposed to be on next week, but got cut because PEOPLE ARE UPTIGHT -_- : ‘Snookie’ getting punched in the face by some random guy. COMEDY GOLD. I don’t think I’ve ever taken so much pleasure in people’s demise… but this is just too precious. ♥
And now, it’s Saturday, and we have to wait another 5 days to continue the madness. At least MTV airs this sh_t about 283574829759 between Thursday airings. =) Ahhh, sweet life. ‘Til next time, my lovely readers!
Oh, and here’s an update on my Wall Collage of Epic Proportions™! =D It’s in two parts since it’s too wide to fit on here in one shot:
Hope you like it so far! =)